


Sburb Delta

by WitchOfBlood413



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Andy Simmon, Cara Wilson, Dean Merlin, F/F, F/M, Kade Thenor, M/M, New Players, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:56:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8781982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchOfBlood413/pseuds/WitchOfBlood413
Summary: Void. Blaze. Death. Blood. Its up to these few aspects to rewrite the story they love in order to save the very story itself from destruction. But what can a group of 13 year old Homestuck fans do when up against a scull headed muscle man and a troll version of Nikki Minaj? They play the very game that ascended their favorite characters to God tier but at what cost?





	1. Cat Ears and Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, this is my first ever fanfic so please, reviews are nice, flames are not. All flames will go to LOHAC. DISCLAIMER: Do I look like a orange man? No? Then I am not Andrew Hussie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to Sburb Delta! Enjoy!

A young girl stands alone in her room. It just so happens that today, the 12th of April, is the day before her favorite character’s birthday. What is the name of this young girl?

**OPTIMISTIC BITCH**

Well fuck you too

Try again smartass>>

**ANDY SIMMON**

Right.As perviously said, your name is Andy. You enjoy romance books, anime, cosplaying, singing, and the paranormal. Not to mention your favorite thing of all: Homestuck. Homestuck is your life, or at least it became your life around 6 years ago. And two years ago, someone had created an actual pesterchum app. Your pesterchum name is prophetGenesis.

Like you said, today is the 12th of April, meaning tomorrow is homestuck day, or John Egbert’s birthday. Right now you are in front of your bed looking at the shitty cosplay your sister got you. The wig isn’t even the right shade of red. What an embarrassment to the anime community. That baka couldn’t tell good quality wigs if it smacked her in the face.

**ANDY: LOOK THROUGH CHEST**

You feel compelled to look through you _cosplay chest._ Inside the chest is an array of anime stuff that makes your heart go doki doki. Inside is your collection of troll horns your full cosplay of Haruhi Suzumiya,  your cat ears, a fairy tail t-shirt, and your how to draw manga for assholes.

You hear a ding come from your computer. Someone was pestering you.

You quickly walk towards your computer, where you admire the background. Ah the beauty of the beta kids. You click on the pesterchum app and sign in. One of your friends as pestering you.

godlyAssasin [GA] began pestering prophetGenesis [PG] at 16:05

GA: So, are you excited for tomorrow?

GA: I heard that it’s the last update for that shitty comic of yours

PG: 1) yes, im excited

PG: 2) Homestuck isn’t shitty, your shitty

PG: 3) Homestuck will never end

PG: And 4), that is an ugly rumor, whoever told you that is a filthy liar and you should probably stop flirting with him all the time or whatever

GA: really? a homestuck reference?

PG: yes -u-

GA: god,you and SG are so fucking crazy for that bullshit

PG: first of all, HS isnt bullshit, your bull shit

PG: second of all, Hey! DA reads Homestuck too!

GA: yeah but he isnt  crazy about it like you two

PG: he’s crazy about the dead

GA: amen, sista

PG: but dont be a hypocrite. you have your own God Tier outfit

PG: admit it, you like it

GA: you made it and sent that to me, I had no choice

GA: plus, its really cute and very comfortable to sleep in -_-

PG: what if Homestuck was, you know, real?

PG: what if we got to play sburb?

GA: . . . .

GA: have you been having those dreams again? those nightmares?

PG: yes. no. i dont know!

PG: one night im seeing gold and dream of the future and the next night, all im seeing is purple and blood

GA: wait, gold?purple?

GA: are you making /another/ Homestuck reference? about something serious like this?

PG: no! I would never joke about something serious like this!

GA: well, what do you see, oh great oracle?

PG: shut up, im not an oracle

PG: i see us, like all of us. you, me, SG, and DA. we’re just standing there, staring, like we’re waiting for something, or someone

GA: wow scary

GA: wait you saw us? like all of us?

PG: yeah, nice highlights btw

GA: thanks

GA: what did DA and SG look like?

PG: two really cute boys

PG: one of them cuter than the other. . . .

GA: oh, are you talking about DA~?

GA: i know you like him

PG: no, i only said that he was cute

GA: bull

You pause from talking to your friend to see a car pull into the driveway. Your sister was home.

PG: gotta go, my sis is home

GA: yeah, yeah. excuses, excuses

GA: later homedork

PG: later, docter loser

GA: you bitch!

godlyAssasin [GA] ceased pestering prophetGenesis [PG] at 16:35

You get up from your chair and walk to the door…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so, these are not the final colors for these characters but please bare with me for now. Witch of Blood, out.


	2. Cat, Strife, and Cancer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to your doom! Just kidding. Now, time for the disclaimer. Lucky for you, I am not Andrew Hussie so I do not own Homestuck.

Your walk out of your room towards the halls. In the halls, there are posters of cats and catgirls. Man do you love cats.

Speaking of cats, you look to a corner to see a small black fuzzball. There’s the little fiend.This “little fiend’s” name is Toma Oreo Mighel, or T.O.M for short. She has been with you for 5 years and she still is as small as when you first saw her. She was always there for you when your sister wasn’t. You could say that she was your juju.

After picking up the cat and putting her on your shoulder, you make your way down the stairs. In the living room, there is a sofa, a flat screen TV, a piano, a fireplace, a couple of guitars lying around, and a desk. You quickly make your way to one of the guitars and pick it up, then put it on one of your shoulders. You almost put it on Tom but when you heard the hissing then you put it on the other shoulder.

You slowly start walking towards the kitchen. You never known where or when your sister may- FUCK! Behind you, is your sister. How the fuck did she get behind you so quickly? That ninja bitch. In the jumps of fright, Toma fell off your shoulder and onto the ground. She then proceeded to sit and stare at you two like you were some movie that she had been waiting to watch. You suppress the urge to kick that fluffy ass.

You see something blocking your view from the cat’s unnatural red gaze. Something … with lace. No. Hell no. Hell fucking no! Realizing that you said that out loud and that your sister knows that you are not going to wear the dress, she ascends. Knowing that there is no way you can abscond without her catching you, you realize that there is only one option left.

**STRIFE**

You quickly take out two long hair clips from your hair; long dark curly hair comes tumbling down towards your back. You move into a defense position, ready to attack. Wait, this seems familiar. This is a lot like the strife John had with his dad before he played the game. Coming over yourself, you put the clips in your pocket and stand up straight.

_No I’m not going put the dress on. I don’t care how cute you think I look in it, I’m not doing it. I don’t give a shit if changed OBAMA’s diapers, I’m not putting that shit on my body. How dare you use anime against me! Fine! I’ll put the stupid dress on! I hate you, bitch-sista._

As you put the stupid dress on, all you can feel is hate towards your sister. To show your hate, you grab your guitar and started to sing: _I.HATE. Everything about you! WHY. DO.I love you!?_

That only made you feel slightly better your sister still hasn’t said anything. Usually, when you started randomly singing, she would say something like, “There's a storm coming because of you”, but she hasn’t said a thing at all. Was she alright?

When you questioned her, all she did was nod to show that she was alright but you knew better. You also knew better than to question her because she will flip her shit. You cautiously walk through the kitchen. On the table, there is a plastic container filled with red and purple frosted sugar cookies. Okay, now you knew that this is a prank. Your sister being quiet? She could go on like Kankri or Aranea. Now your favorite cookies? something must be up? These cookies could be Betty Crocker for all you know. You don’t eat batter witch produces.

You do, however, take the cookies and go up to your room. Wasting perfectly good cookies is like a sin to you. A sin.

You come back into you room and go straight to your computer. The pesterchum app was blinking again.This time, it was someone you didn’t know.

cautiousGuider [CG] began trolling prophetGenesis [PG] at 17:15 

CG: Hell9 y9ung 9ne. My name is Kankri Vantas and I will 6e y9ur patr9n tr9ll f9r y9ur sessi9n. Please t9 meet y9u.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading this. Gog, writing kanki is really hard. See you next time. Witch of Blood, out


	3. Triggers, Sburb Delta, and a Guidance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you all for reading again. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Homestuck. However, our daddy and master, Andrew Hussie, does.

Wha…?

This is a prank. This has to be a prank. There is no way that kankri, your favorite dancestor, is actually…. trolling you. There’s just no way.

PG: uh, what?

CG: 9h, I am s9 s9rry, that must have 6een very triggering f9r y9u, n9t kn9wing me at all. I am s9 c9mpletely s9rry. I sh9uld have tagged my triggers fr9m the very start. #warning #sh9ck #triggers

PG: is this a prank?

CG: 9h certainly n9t, n9t t9 6e as cruel as t9 prank and/9r tr9ll y9u. I find that tr9lling 9thers can 6e extremely triggering.

PG: but

PG: pesterchum told me that you were trolling me

CG: Ah, 6ut that is 6ecause I am a tr9ll.

PG: this is a prank

PG: you’re not kankri

CG: I hate t9 6e rude, 6ut I w9uld like t9 get 9n t9 what I wanted t9 talk t9 y9u a69ut

CG: It’s a69ut y9ur SBURB DELTA 

PG: what?

CG: I will help y9u t9 y9ur way thr9ugh the medium and t9 g9dh99d

CG: D9 n9t 9orry, I will take care 9f y9u

CG: 9h my, that s9unded strange

CG: I ap9l9gize

PG: wait

PG: I don’t have any “Sburb Delta”

PG: I’ve never even hear of it

CG: Wait…

CG: What is t9day’s date?

PG: April 12th, 2015

PG: why?

CG: 9h dear

CG: 9h g9g, 9h g9g, 9h g9g

PG: what? what is it?

CG: I messed up.

CG: I was a day t9 early.

CG: I am s9 c9mpletely s9rry

CG: This must have 6een the extremely trigger f9r y9u, having a stranger talk t9 y9u a69ut s9mthing that y9u 6elieve d9es n9t exist yet. Yet the true existence y9u 6elieve t9 6e fasle is right beneath y9ur human n9se. #s9rry #truth

PG: hey

PG: I’m not mad

PG: it’s actually kinda nice talking to you

CG: 9h, well…

CG: Thank y9u

CG: F9r listening t9 me talk

PG: oh!

CG: What?

PG: you told me your name, but i never told you my name

CG: 9h, it’s fine. Y9u d9 n9t have t9 tell me

PG: no, I want to show you courtesy

PG: my name is Cassandra Simmon

PG: but you can call  Andy

CG: Well, Andy, I am really s9rry a69ut the mishap

PG: it’s fine

PG: so I’m getting sburb tomorrow?

CG: Why yes, yes y9u are.

You can’t let him know that you what sburb is or that you already know who he is. It could affect time and space itself

PG: so

PG: what’s sburb delta?

PG: is it some kind of sorority prank or something?

You have the feeling that you are giving this guy a aneurysm attack, which you feel guilty about but this is space and time shit. You dont mess with space and time shit.

CG: 9h my g9g

CG: This is g9ing t9 6e harder than I 9riginally th9ught

PG: what?

CG: 9kay, please all9w me t9 give a semi-sh9rt explanation.

CG: So s6ur6 delta is the game f9r y9ur sessi9n. 

PG: my session?

CG: Yes, y9ur sessi9n. N9w, please d9n’t interrupt. It is extremely triggering. #rude #insightful

PG: sorry

CG: This game unlike any 9ther game. It is a very dangerous game. In this game, y9u fight the black queen and king and y9u fight f9r the white queen and king.

CG: This game is very realistic, meaning that y9u are the character in the game. The h9st or sever player will 6e the sec9nd pers9n in y9ur versi9n of s6ur6. They will 6e the c9ntr9ller 9f the things ar9und y9u 6ut 9nly in y9ur h9me. They will n9 l9nger 6e a6le t9 see  y9u if y9u are away fr9m y9ur h9use. 

CG: Lucky f9r y9u, y9u and y9ur friends - DA, GA, and SG- have just enough pe9ple t9 play y9ur sessi9n.

PG: wait

PG: let me get this straight

PG: tomorrow, me and my friends, who I never even met before, much less learned thier names, are going to play a dangerous game where we’re the characters?

CG: Yes, pretty much

PG: okay

PG: I’m just going to end this now

CG: Wait!

prophetGenesis [PG] blocked cautiousguider [CG] at 18:01 

Well, that happened.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who bother to even read this, and yes, I do write this long normally. Most of this fanfic is on fanfiction . net, where you can read more of this if you don't want to wait.


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